| Grandparents’ Greatest Gift |
 Statistics show the family unit is degrading and that more children are having less contact with their grandparents. Grandparents often say, what they know they don’t understand what their kids (now parents) are going through. Although grandparents grew up in a world much different, they do understand and can teach you, their child, how to respond to many difficult situations. It should be a joint venture with parents and grandparents caring for and teaching children. The Role of a Grandparent The experience of being a grandparent is unique for everyone. Grandparents often speak of the joy of being with their grandchildren. At the same time, grandchildren appreciate the fact their grandparents love them no matter what. For some grandparents, seeing grandchildren may be difficult due to divorce, remarriage, or geographic distance. Whether you are a grandparent, step-grandparent, or a grandparent raising a grandchild, you are an important person in your grandchild’s life. Grandparenting Styles Although grandparents may express similar feelings about their experiences, the styles in which they grandparent can be different. Each person brings their unique self to the experience of grandparenting. Factors that may influence grandparenting styles include culture, ethnicity, gender, race, family traditions, family structure, and personal history. Researchers who study grandparenting have identified various styles. These styles include family historian/living ancestor, the nurturer, the mentor, the role model, the playmate, the wizard, and the hero. Family Historian/Living Ancestor As the family historian/living ancestor, grandparents share the stories of the past. These stories may be about relatives, important events, family traditions, the grandparent’s own childhood or the grandchild’s parent growing up. As the stories of the family are passed on, the grandchild gains a positive image of aging and their place within the family. Grandparents and their stories can be the “glue” which keeps the family together and contributes to family identity. Nurturer, Mentor, and Role Model Grandparents who serve as nurturers provide encouragement and support to the family in times of crisis. Whether serving as the babysitter, the chauffeur, the confidante, or the caregiver, the challenge is to find a delicate balance between encouragement and control. Grandparents mentor by teaching, sharing skills and talents, providing advice and listening to their grandchildren. As a role model, grandparents provide grandchildren with examples of hard work and family loyalty. As a grandparent, you may not realize the influence you have on your grandchildren until you hear them repeat something you said or imitate something you have done. Playmate, Wizard, and Hero The next three styles invoke the tender emotions of grandparents. Many grandparents thrill at the opportunity to be a crony or playmate with their grandchild. They speak with enthusiasm of time spent reading books, playing games, and sharing mutual interests with their grandchildren. Grandparents also play the magical role of wizard. At young ages, grandchildren are mesmerized by tricks and will stare wide-eyed asking, “how did you do that?” truly believing grandpa pulled a coin out of their ear. What a fun time to be a grandparent! Finally, grandparents also fill the role of hero. Although you may think of the word “hero” in a different way, grandparents who always listen and who are consistently available to provide support are heroes. Grandparents may be the one a child turns to when they carry a burden too big to share with anyone else or they may serve as an emotional safety net to an older child when making an important decision. The Joys of Grandparenting Grandchildren bring love, energy, optimism, laughter, activity, youthfulness, and purpose to the lives of grandparents. At the same time, grandparents provide maturity, knowledge, stability, and unconditional love to the lives of their grandchildren. Think for a moment about your own grandparents. Which of these roles did they fulfill in your family? Whether your experiences with grandparents were positive or negative, even if you never had the opportunity to know your grandparents, you can make a difference in the lives of your grandchildren. Take the time to develop a grandparenting style that best fits you. Then build a relationship with your grandchildren that you both can enjoy!
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