According to a recent interview on Focus on the Family, many marriage therapists in America are recommending couples watch pornographic movies together to improve intimacy in their relationship. In my personal opinion, I believe this practice is not healthy.
Men and women are “wired” different…problems often arise because many men and women are not aware of the other gender’s “wiring.” Here is a brief look at the man’s perspective when it comes to delving into pornography:
- When a man begins to look at pictures of women in compromising positions and attire, a sexual sensation begins to trigger in the man’s brain…just the way a man is wired.
- Observing pornography is addictive and often becomes progressively and the desire for more lewd content increases (reason men will move beyond “men” magazines to the Internet to strip clubs to abuse of wives…).
- If a man does not break off this addictive pornographic direction, his relationship with his wife (or serious relationship) will eventually take on an abusive nature.
- Result: the man looks upon his wife (or serious relationship) as an object to be used and left behind until the next time sexual stimulation is desired on the part of the man. Obviously, this direction does not engender intimacy with a mate.
These points are a very brief look at the progression of pornography on the man’s psyche. Best bet: run from any contact with pornography and find activities you and your significant other can do together to build intimacy in your relationship.
Clean, fun activities you and your significant other can do together can include:
- go on a picnic together (bring the kids, too),
- rent a Christian movie to watch at home (pop some popcorn because men (and women) love to cuddle up with the one they love and food).
- walk around the neighborhood slowly and just “talk” with one another.
- Go to dinner with another couple and come back to your house for after-dinner drinks and cards. One of your older children can watch both couple’s kids while the four of you are at dinner.
Use your imagination to create clean and fun activities to build your relationship foundation stronger.
Keep building…
Mike McCann
