Wives, I am going to say an oft-heard statement here that you likely will not believe a man is admitting: Husbands, as a whole, are lousy listeners!

When asked the one characteristic where men really fail in marriages, Jay Leno agrees that men are poor listeners. Tie your husband’s poor listening in with sequential thinking (the way a husband hears another person speaking and puts pieces of a conversation together) and you, as his wife, have to carefully plan when you are going to bring up controversial or delicate issues in conversation.

If you “spring” major news or information on your husband before getting him ready to soak in your message, he will tune you out. When you have important news or a delicate subject to discuss with your husband, make sure the location is conducive to calm, relaxed conversation when you bring up your topic. A nice hotel lobby, an upscale deli at lunch or other nice environment presents your best opportunity for you to actually c-o-m-m-u-n-i-c-a-t-e delicate and controversial topics with your husband. If you introduce difficult topics to your husband before “setting the stage” properly, he will likely ask, “When is lunch?” And, tune all the conversation after that – out!

Set your stage and communicate.

Mike McCann